As creative entrepreneurs, we know that dreams and plans are worth very little on their own—creation requires serious action.
But something we just don’t wanna. We lose our motivation and let our plans languish on our to-do lists for much, much longer than we ever intended to.
We suspect there’s something else—something bigger than old-fashioned laziness—going on, but it’s hard to know for sure. Sometimes we start wondering if we’re even cut out for the work we’re trying to do.
Before you spin out of control, it’s important to figure out what’s actually going on under all that fluster.
Ask yourself these five questions to get straight to the heart of your resistance.
1. Do I really want to do this?
Sometimes resistance and its sister procrastination mope around telling us we don’t even WANT to do the thing we’re trying to do—ever. It could be the case that deep, deep down, in our coreiest of cores, we know we shouldn’t even be doing the thing in the first place.
Why we don’t want to do it—and what we can do instead—can be less clear. Perhaps the project isn’t the right direction for us at this time. Perhaps it isn’t aligned with our values and ethics. Perhaps it’s a part of something we’ve actually outgrown without realizing it.
But be careful, especially if you’re the type of person who changes their mind a lot. “Do I really want to do this?” is a great question to ask, but it can also lead you astray. When in doubt, spend some time reflecting on your values, personality and vision to determine if the project is one you should keep pursuing, or not.
2. Am I letting perfectionism mess me up?
Ideas are perfect. Creations are perfectly flawed.
If you, like me, have some perfectionist tendencies, this can be a difficult fact to accept. Early in my business, and again when I relaunched my website in April, I found myself nearly paralyzed by perfectionism. We have such high expectations for ourselves, our businesses, and our writing. Sometimes it’s easier to stall than move forward.
If this is you, please know that everybody feels this way! The sooner you embrace the fact that you are wonderfully flawed and everything you create will be wonderfully flawed, just like everything created by anyone else since the history of time, the sooner you’ll start making epic progress.
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3. Am I just tired/hungry/overworked/distracted?
Sometimes there are external or internal factors at play. Maybe you have PMS (I’m not joking—I need an extra hour of sleep when I have it, but I somehow forget this EVERY MONTH). Maybe you forgot to eat lunch and that’s why you’re wasting time on Facebook instead of writing tomorrow’s blog post. Maybe you are genuinely heading for a burn out.
If physical needs and/or distractions are the root of your resistance, I’d recommend unplugging, resting, and adding your creative work back in slowly. Take a day off and come back with a fresh resolve. Try writing by hand, away from the computer. Be kind to yourself: you’re the only you you’ve got.
4. Is this good old-fashioned fear of failure?
This one’s an oldie…but not so goodie. If you have a vibrant imagination like I do, you might find that a doomsday scenario starts to play in the back of your head not long after you start working on a new project. Your powerful mind draws on past experiences, stories you’ve heard and old fears you’ve forgotten you’ve outgrown and mixes them up into a king-sized serving of doubt.
Yum!
Here’s what you need to remember: everyone has a fear of failure. Successful people are NOT fearless: they’ve just learned how to work with and move through their fear. You can do this too. Step by step, piece by piece.
“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” ― Robert F. Kennedy
5. Do I need connection, community and feedback?
Loneliness and alone-ness (not necessarily the same thing!) can mess you up. As an introvert who spends a lot of time working alone, this is something I need to keep a close eye on. When I’m really dragging my heels on a project, it’s often because I’m feeling too alone in it, and that aloneness is causing me to lose perspective.
The good news is, this is easy to fix with a little initiative. Make an appointment to share work or set goals with a friend or colleague. Talk it through with your VA or your mastermind group, if you have them. If not, go to a networking event—you never know who you might inspire you!
You could also set up a mentorship with someone who will give you constructive feedback and encouragement, and hold you accountable to your goals. As a writing coach, this is precisely what I do with my small business clients (and, of course, I have a few mentors of my own!).
If that sounds like something you might benefit from, please don’t hesitate to say hi!
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As always, I’d love to hear from you! If you’re resisting a project on your to-do list, what do you think might be at the root of it?
Are you just slacking or is there something else going on—and what will you do to turn it around?
Hello Nicole, Thanks for your post. So true. I have trouble with multi ideas – multi passions. As soon as I start something doubtful thoughts come and bother me – like “this is not good enough” I can’t send this out – people will laugh at me – and the best “everyone else is better than me”. I belong to a writing club but we don’t talk about each others writing or give suggestions etc. Any thoughts on how to suggest this to the others. Thank you.
Hi Jackie! Thanks so much for reading, and for your comment.
What exactly do you do in your writing club? I’ll assume you either write together without sharing or share writing without feedback. I think the best way for you to start a conversation about this would be to ask for specific feedback on a piece of writing first. Tell the group what in particular you aren’t sure about or would love their thoughts on. The others might see how helpful that is for you and start doing it themselves!
Hi Nicole,
I have been a fan of your writing for a while and very much enjoy your work. Thank you for this article. I ask myself almost daily, why do I keep finding excuses to not sit down and get to work? My replies (to this question) are always very satisfying. For example, it really is hard work looking after two small children in a new country in a new home (where we are still unpacking boxes).
I know life can get busy and I know there are some things I could do to give myself a moment to sit and write but I’m putting it off.
I will settle in to my new life and then get into a routine. Keeping close in mind your 5 points.
Thank you again Nicole
Annette
Hi Annette,
What a lovely comment—thank you for taking the time to write it!
I feel your pain: moving has disrupted my writing and business life a few times! It’s especially difficult when you’re trying to work in the space you’re “living” in, but I don’t even feel like you’re properly living in the space yet! Yeesh.
You’re absolutely right about getting into a routine. First thing in the morning always does it for me. It’s a precious time and I guard it fiercely.
Thank you so much for reading, and good luck getting settled!
Hey Nicole,
“Ideas are perfect. Creations are perfectly flawed.” – is the best description of how I see my writing! How did you know this??? 😉
I alwasy resist writning for as long as I can bacause I’m positive it’ll be stupid. And others will think it’s stupid, too. So, I think and I think in hope to think of something less stupid. Sometimes it works good enough for me to actually WRITE what I’m thinking about. Which then looks as the worst thing anybody ever wrote in the history of writing. That would be history itself.
I did however discover the stangest thing… sometimes I reread what I wrote after a month or two, and suprisingly, it doesn’t seem as stupid.. There were times I actually heard myself thinknig “wow, this is not bad. not bad at all.”
So, now I know that no matter how stupid what I’m writing is, I’ll probably like it more next month. 🙂
Thanks so much for sharing this, Vesna! “I’ll probably like it more next month.” I love that you’ve made that discovery. And I’m very sure it doesn’t sound “stupid” at all.
Thanks for reading, and happy writing!!
Ooh, Nicole, I LOVE these resistance gut checks. These have all rung true at different cycles in my biz for sure! in Fact I’m just coming out of a low motivation period that was a direct result of #3: overwork & burnout. It was hard to accept I needed to step back and unplug for awhile but it’s done my creativity and motivation a world of good!
So happy to hear this resonated with you, Jackie! And even happier to hear you were able to step back and recharge. 🙂 Thanks for reading!
Loved this Nicole! I’ve experienced each of these at some point or another (am actually sitting with #2 and #4 right now…) and climbing out of the doldrums can be quite the challenge. I find that Fear of Failure has a surprisingly ugly step-sister: Fear of Success. Sometimes I hold off on doing something because I’m getting about 10 steps ahead of myself in what success could mean, and what activities I’d then have to support. That one kicks my butt on the regular.
Ah, very happy to hear this resonated with you, Devon. #2 is one of the biggest for me…and many of my clients, too. One of my favourite things to do to get out of that particular hole is set a deadline with another person or community—so I’m forced to take action before it’s perfect.
I’m so glad you brought up Fear of Success! I considered including that because I’ve heard it described so many times…but I’m not sure I feel it myself? It’s really interesting to me though!
Thank you for reading!
awesome, i always learn something from each of your writing piece, nicole
Thanks so much for reading, Ishmael. I’m always cheering for you!